Stop for the One

Maybe I should be more angry, that it would feel more real when I express my resulting feelings in seeing all I see in Mozambique. Am I happy or do I really trust God enough to believe he will AND wants to provide for all the needs I see here? Why some and not others? Why the timing that is chosen? If people don’t want to be ‘converted’ or told that they view spirituality or life in the wrong way (and I don’t think we should tell them that at all!) then what do we have to offer? Can they see our joy, our love, our hope, our belief that we are cared for and circumstances will get better, that these things are otherworldly, or do they just pass it off as that fact that we are white, rich and don’t need to worry about where our next meal comes from? Do I even believe those things? Is it otherworldly or am I just relying on my own ability to survive? I know the money that I have at the moment came through others donations for my trip, so that would be God’s provision.
One thing that one lady told me that gave me clarity is that the poor, especially in the villages where they’re secluded from the outside world, don’t see themselves as “poor”, just that they have suffering. They’re not looking for a cement house or a car, they just don’t want to suffer.
I don’t want them to suffer either – a lot of the things they suffer from (lack of nutrition, need of medical aide) are very much beyond my grasp to even give. Then the questions lead to: Who gives this? Jesus? Me/us? Jesus through me/us? Probably all of the above. And we’re told (or I have been all my life) that God cares more about the spirit of a human than the physical, to be healed/made whole spiritually is better or more important. I can see how a lack of physical needs met would lead anyone to be more inclined to seek after the spirit since life becomes desperate, but I don’t feel peace about it, not yet. I’m at a place now too where I kind of don’t care if I have the answers or not – so many people think they have the answers or say they do or maybe they don’t feel completely that way but they have a part and they offer that answer and even put action to it – for example, the organization I’m with right now, or even someone high profile like Bono who has given his voice with weight to millions worldwide with his efforts to put any sort of death blow to poverty and world hunger, AIDs, etc, but even with that level of influence and power – has there been change? How much? I’m not saying that only a little change is not good – any bit of change is good!!! I’m saying that if those with power don’t have answers, how can I?
The motto at this organization is “Stop for the One” – it is hard and humbling to know that you can only do something for one person, though I see first-hand at the moment how that grows. And stopping for one can change that one person’s entire life. For example, one of the directors adopted Mozambican sons used to be a bandit – now he’s a pastor and hugely influencial, he’s even been to America to speak.
So, stop for the one – I don’t really know the full implications of that, but I can’t be proud about it as it is so little (still, I can’t deny my hope of knowing that while it is so little, it is also – somehow – so much.)
Kari